Wednesday, March 16

I Think I Failed the Personality Test

I get dogs. I even like dogs - they're fluffy, adorable creatures with enough bite pressure and speed to kill me in a hot second. Plus, they see and process sight faster than I do, may think more like autistic children, and generally do things that make my brain light up with enthusiasm.

Dogs and I, we're a team.

People and I....


Hi, I'm JJ. I'm a bit of an idiot, some-time savant, IQ-ranking somewhere between smart and genius, and it's taken me seven years to learn how to communicate with humans. As in everyday conversation. As in, I can't really be that smart because I can't even have a normal conversation.

And I speak their language, know the culture, and have been immersed in their goings-on for ... Oh, I don't know... 23 years?

And I don't get them.

So, my next adventure is going to center on quite a bit of learning, branching off somewhere between knowledge and tolerance. 

Me? I have very little of the latter. I can't stand what I think of as "stupid" people, don't deal well with differing opinions, extremists, or even everyday conversation. 

I think I'm just fragging weird or something, but since I have to live with me, I figure something has to change.

In the dog training world, I've got this. I can take the role - like a character in a play - and do my job, communicate where I need to, and generally  have a good time with it. Even with dog trainer friends, colleagues, and enthusiasts, I don't have so much of a problem with the communication or the tolerance.

But it doesn't seem to translate to the rest of my life.

...Not that I'm an insufferable, judgmental prick or anything. It's more that... when it comes to the outside world, I just can't empathize. 

People make bad decisions. They do dumb things for dumber reasons... and as someone who has spent her entire life with her nose in a book, the closest I come to relating is poking their brains with questions intended to do a little information gathering.

I think like a behavior analyst, not like a psychologist, and certainly not like a friend. Talking to me is probably the equivalent of talking to a brick wall with a good knowledge of active and passive listening, who offers nothing in the way of personality back. And you KNOW that I'm plugging everything you say into a little brain-powered computer program that's going to lead me to conclusions about you and your actions that I have no interest in sharing.

Doncha just want to be friends with me now?

Best part: I'm bubbly while I do it.

I'm unable to think like most people, and can't decide if I want to.

I figure, at the very least, I can learn HOW other people think, and maybe that will come close enough to relating to cut it. 

Do I... sound like a robot to anyone else?

I'm seriously thinking cyborg, here. (What? It would be fun. Really.)


  1. LOL I had times when I felt I was dropped here from another planet.

    I can empathize but I cannot socialize. I mean I can, but I feel just about as comfortable as on a bed of cacti. Unless we can talk about dogs :-)

    So, hey, maybe we should start a club of weirdos.

  2. Well this is all news to me! I think you do quite well in conversations with people on Twitter. I find you completely relatable and friendly and funny.
    I am not anywhere between smart and genius, but I find I have trouble with what some would call stoopid people too. :)

  3. ahem. I think your personality does show. and you have gotten very good at communicating with humans! I almost think you don't need me to translate what you say to them anymore!
    Maybe I like talking to you because I know you can relay the information I've given to you, back to me in a way that I might not have seen before. Which is always helpful for when I get myself into predicaments that don't make sense.
    I don't think I understand humans all that well either...even though I try to focus on figuring it out, I still mess up.
    Maybe that's why I even married the crazy person I married, because there will not be a routine even if HE thinks there is one...
    Anyways. What I'm saying is you are a really fun human and I miss you :)

  4. JJ, you fit the profile that all my best friends have. It's lovely to be able to relax and be uber geeky and precise and judgemental and inflexible and dry-logical and pedantic with fellow geeky mates.

    Am (slowly) learning to get better at being less wound up/more tolerant towards non-geeks, though. Living with one helps!